Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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