I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
