pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize