Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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