yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
