i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
