Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
