shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
It's never too late to be topless.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
