you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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