told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
