I hope mine doesn't look like that
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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