when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
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