They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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