y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
The best revenge is premature balding
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
