Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
