Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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