I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
