We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
