quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
