think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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