Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
