so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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