So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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