you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
