I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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