What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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