i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
