Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
