In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.