I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after