Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.