Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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