where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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