DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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