Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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