i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
