Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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