I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
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I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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