Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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