Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
