just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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