Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
