He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
