Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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