its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
