Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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