Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
