sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize