The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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