You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
