Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
