Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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