So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
