i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
