i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
