butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
