my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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