the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
