this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
