Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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