Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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