IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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