I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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