Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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